Find Your Mission (Or My Long History of Falling for The Wrong Men)
Like many women, I have a long history of falling for the wrong men. Without realizing it, I have always been attracted to those who needed some sort of empowerment and healing. I never fell for the men with money, for the men with impressive job status or credentials, or even for the men who truly cared for me. I fell for the ones that other women often found to be completely unattractive, uninteresting or "not datable". But I saw in them something that others couldn't see. I somehow sensed their traumas and their need for healing without consciously realizing it. My unconscious "healing" would entail becoming their mistress, their mother figure, their Lolita, their spiritual advisor, therapist, coach, only to find myself feeling completely depleted in the end. There was no reciprocation in my relationships. I was the one who gave and gave, while completely forgetting about my own needs. I confused my desire to empower people for love, which should never be exhausting or depleting.
It took me years to realize that I was on a mission and that my mission wasn't to find love. My mission was to empower! I realized that being compassionate and having desire to help, does not mean being in love. I went through a number of emotional dramas before I came to this realization. When I did, something inside of me shifted. I was no longer obsessed with being the perfect woman. Instead, I became the imperfect mess - aka myself. I started to recognize my patterns and instead of getting myself involved into more damaging love affairs, I began the journey of empowerment. At first, I wanted to go big and empower the world. But then I realized that I knew nothing about that. So I went back to my comfort zone of food and sensuality. I learned that I could empower men and women to live happier lives as they derive more pleasure from the simplest things in life (like developing a Tantric approach to food). I realized that empowering or healing is easy. You need to truly care, you need to be truly kind, you need to truly listen and you have to truly sense people.
Over the years, I have managed to build a small platform for myself and for my mission. I have done speaking engagements, TV, wrote a book, etc. But that platform isn't necessary to begin your missionary work. Empowerment and healing happens when you care for people and when you truly value and understand them. We all have a mission. What is yours?
If healing and empowerment is your calling, then start your mission in your own backyard. Be the good witch, be the wise woman, be the one who offers help, be the one who gets phone calls in the middle of the night. You may find that this is the love that you have been craving all along. And do not confuse it with the romantic kind of love. This kind of love (your mission) is even more rewarding and fulfilling than you ever thought possible. Sometimes your mission may give you the same feelings that you get when you are in love. Try not to attach those feelings to a specific person. Your mission is making you feel complete and your calling is strong. Offer your power to masses. You have enough power and love to inspire the world.
And do not leave the romantic kind of love out of your life. It is very important. The earthly kind of love is for you. Take it and let it inspire you to do more. Just make sure that you do not just give. The earthly kind of love allows you to also take. Go for it. Do not turn your romantic love into yet another mission. In your sacred, private space of romance and sensuality, your only mission should be to find balance, personal happiness and pleasure. Take it all.